Saturday 24 August 2019

What Makes You Happy

So, what has science learned about what makes the human heart sing? More than one might imagine along with some surprising things about what doesn’t ring our inner chimes. Take wealth, for instance, and all the delightful things that money can buy. Research by Diener, among others, has shown that once your basic needs are met, additional income does little to raise your sense of satisfaction with life a good education?


Sorry, neither education nor, for that matter, a high IQ paves the road to happiness. Youth? No, again. In fact, older people are more dependably satisfied with their lives than the young. And they are less prone to dark moods. A survey conducts by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that people ages 20 to 24 are sad for an average of 3.4 days a month, as opposed to just 2.3 days for people ages 65 to 74.  

Married people are generally happier than singles, but that may be because they were happier to begin with sunny days? Nope, although a study showed that Midwesterners think folks living in balmy California are happier and that Californians incorrectly believe this about themselves too. On the positive side, religious faith seems to genuinely lift the spirit. Though it’s tough to tell whether it’s the God part or the community aspect that does the heavy lifting. 

A study conducted at the University of Illinois by Diener and Seligman found that the most salient characteristics shared by the 10% of students with the highest levels of happiness. However, the fewest signs of depression were their strong ties to friends and family and commitment to spending time with them. Word needs to be spread. It is important to work on social skills, close interpersonal ties and social support to be happy.

Measuring the Moods
Of course, happiness is not a static state. Even the happiest of people the cheeriest 10% feel blue at times. And even the bluest have their moments of joy. That has presented a challenge to social scientists trying to measure happiness. That, along with the simple fact that happiness is inherently subjective. To get around those challenges, researchers have devised several methods of assessment.
Diener has created one of the most basic and widely used tools, the Satisfaction with Life Scale. Though some scholars have questioned the validity of this simple, five-question survey, Diener has found that it squares well with other measures of happiness, such as impressions from friends and family, expression of positive emotion and low incidence of depression.
Researchers have devised other tools to look at more transient moods.  A popular Csikszentmihalyi pioneered a method of using beepers and, later, handheld computers to contact subjects at random intervals. A pop-up screen presents an array of questions. What are you doing? How much are you enjoying it? Are you alone or interacting with someone else?
The method, called experience sampling, is costly, intrusive and time consuming, but it provides an excellent picture of satisfaction and engagement at a specific time during a specific activity. Just month, a team led by Nobel prize winning psychologist Daniel Kahneman of Princeton University unveiled a new tool for sizing up happiness: the day reconstruction method.
Participants fill out a long diary and questionnaire detailing everything they did on the previous day. And whom they were with at the time and rating a range of feelings during each episode (happy, impatient, depressed, worried, tired, etc.) on a seven-point scale. The method was tested on a group of 900 women in Texas with some surprising results. It turned out that the five most positive activities for these women were (in descending order) sex, socializing, relaxing, praying or meditating, and eating.
Exercising and watching TV were not far behind. But way down the list was taking care of children, which ranked below cooking and only slightly above housework. That may seem surprising, given that people frequently cite their children as their biggest source of delight which was a finding of a Time poll on happiness conducted. When asked, “What one thing in life has brought you the greatest happiness?
35% said it was their children or grandchildren or both. (Spouse was far behind at just 9%, and religion a runner-up at 17%.) The discrepancy with the study of Texas women points up one of the key debates in happiness research. Which kind of information is more meaningful global reports of well-being (My life is happy, and my children are my greatest joy) or more specific data on enjoyment of day-to-day experiences (What a night! The kids were such a pain!)?

The two are very different, and studies show they do not correlate well. Our overall happiness is not merely the sum of our happy moments minus the sum of our angry or sad ones. This is true whether you are looking at how satisfied you are with your life in general or with something more specific, such as your kids, your car, your mobile, your favorite game, your job or your vacation. Kahneman likes to distinguish between the experiencing self and the remembering self.

His studies show that what you remember of an experience is particularly influenced by the emotional high and low points and by how it ends. So, if you were to randomly beep someone on vacation in Italy. You might catch that person waiting furiously for a slow-moving waiter to take an order or grousing about the high cost of the pottery. But if you ask when it’s over, “How was the vacation in Italy?”, the average person remembers the peak moments and how he or she felt at the end of the trip.

The power of endings has been demonstrated in some remarkable experiments by Kahneman. One such study involved people undergoing a colonoscopy, an uncomfortable procedure in which a flexible scope is moved through the colon. While a control group had the standard procedure, half the subjects endured an extra 60 seconds during which the scope was held stationary; movement of the scope is typically the source of the discomfort.

It turned out that members of the group that had the somewhat longer procedure with a benign ending found it less unpleasant than the control group, and they were more willing to have a repeat colonoscopy. Asking people how happy they are, Kahneman contends, “is very much like asking them about the colonoscopy after it’s over.

There’s a lot that escapes them.” Kahneman therefore believes that social scientists studying happiness should pay careful attention to people’s actual experiences rather than just survey their reflections. That, he feels, is especially relevant if research is to inform quality-of-life policies like how much money our society should devote to parks and recreation or how much should be invested in improving workers’ commutes.

You cannot ignore how people spend their time,” he says, “when thinking about well-being.” Seligman, in contrast, puts the emphasis on the remembering self. “I think we are our memories more than we are the sum total of our experiences,” he says. For him, studying moment-to-moment experiences puts too much emphasis on transient pleasures and displeasures. Happiness goes deeper than that, he argues in his 2002 book Authentic Happiness.

 As a result of his research, he finds three components of happiness: pleasure (“the smiley-face piece”), engagement (the depth of involvement with one’s family, work, romance and hobbies) and meaning (using personal strengths to serve some larger end). Of those three roads to a happy, satisfied life, pleasure is the least consequential, he insists: “This is newsworthy because so many Americans build their lives around pursuing pleasure. It turns out that engagement and meaning are much more important.

CAN WE GET HAPPIER?

One of the biggest issues in happiness research is the question of how much our happiness is under our control. The University of Minnesota researcher David Lykken published a paper looking at the role of genes in determining one’s sense of satisfaction in life. Lykken, gathered information on 4,000 sets of twins born in Minnesota from 1936 through 1955. After comparing happiness data on identical vs. fraternal twins, he concluded that about 50% of one’s satisfaction with life comes from genetic programming.

Genes influence such traits as having a sunny, easygoing personality; dealing well with stress; and feeling low levels of anxiety and depression.) Moreover, he found that circumstantial factors like income, marital status, religion and education contribute only about 8% to one’s overall well-being. He attributes the remaining percentage to “life’s slings and arrows.” Because of the large influence of our genes. He proposed the idea that each of us has a happiness set point much like our set point for body weight.

No matter what happens in our life good, bad, spectacular, horrific we tend to return in short order to our set range. Some post-tsunami images last week of smiling Asian children returning to school underscored this amazing capacity to right ourselves. And a substantial body of research documents our tendency to return to the norm. A study of lottery winners done in 1978 found, for instance, that they did not wind up significantly happier than a control group. Even people who lose the use of their limbs to a devastating accident tend to bounce back, though perhaps not all the way to their base line.

One study found that a week after the accident, the injured were severely angry and anxious, but after eight weeks happiness was their strongest emotion. Psychologists call this adjustment to new circumstances adaptation. “Everyone is surprised by how happy paraplegics can be,” says Kahneman. The reason is that they are not paraplegic full time. They do other things. They enjoy their meals, their friends.

They read the news. It has to do with the allocation of attention.” In his extensive work on adaptation, Edward Diener has found two life events that seem to knock people lastingly below their happiness set point: loss of a spouse and loss of a job. It takes five to eight years for a widow to regain her previous sense of well-being. Similarly, the effects of a job loss linger long after the individual has returned to the work force.

When he proposed his set-point theory eight years ago, Lykken came to a drastic conclusion. It may be that trying to be happier is as futile as trying to be taller. He has since come to regret that sentence. I made a dumb statement in the original article. It’s clear that we can change our happiness levels widely up or down. He revisionist thinking coincides with the view of the positive-psychology movement, which has put a premium on research showing you can raise your level of happiness.

For Seligman and likeminded researchers, that involves working on the three components of happiness getting more pleasure out of life (which can be done by savoring sensory experiences, although, he warns, “you’re never going to make a curmudgeon into a giggly person”), becoming more engaged in what you do and finding ways of making your life feel more meaningful. There are numerous ways to do that, they argue.

At the University of California at Riverside, psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky is using grant money from the National Institutes of Health to study different kinds of happiness boosters. One is the gratitude journal a diary in which subjects write down things for which they are thankful. She has found that taking the time to conscientiously count their blessings once a week significantly increased subjects’ overall satisfaction with life over a period of six weeks, whereas a control group that did not keep journals had no such gain.

Gratitude exercises can do more than lift one’s mood. At the University of California at Davis, psychologist Robert Emmons found they improve physical health, raise energy levels and, for patients with neuromuscular disease, relieve pain and fatigue. “The ones who benefited most tended to elaborate more and have a wider span of things they’re grateful for,” he notes.

Another happiness booster, say positive psychologists, is performing acts of altruism or kindness visiting a nursing home, helping a friend’s child with homework, mowing a neighbor’s lawn, writing a letter to a grandparent. Doing five kind acts a week, especially all in a single day, gave a measurable boost to Lyubomirsky’s subjects. Seligman has tested similar interventions in controlled trials at Penn and in huge experiments conducted over the Internet.

The single most effective way to turbocharge your joy, he says, is to make a “gratitude visit.” That means writing a testimonial thanking a teacher, pastor or grandparent anyone to whom you owe a debt of gratitude and then visiting that person to read him or her the letter of appreciation. “The remarkable thing. It is that people who do this just once are measurably happier and less depressed a month later.

But it’s gone by three months.” Less powerful but more lasting, he says, is an exercise he calls three blessings taking time each day to write down a trio of things that went well and why. People are less depressed and happier three months later and six months later. Seligman’s biggest recommendation for lasting happiness is to figure out your strengths and find new ways to deploy them.

Increasingly, his work, done in collaboration with Christopher Peterson at the University of Michigan. He has focused on defining such human strengths and virtues as generosity, humor, gratitude and zest and studying how they relate to happiness. As a professor, I don’t like this, but the cerebral virtues curiosity, love of learning are less strongly tied to happiness than interpersonal virtues like kindness, gratitude and capacity for love.

Why do exercising gratitude, kindness and other virtues provide a lift? “Giving makes you feel good about yourself,” says Peterson. When you’re volunteering, you’re distracting yourself from your own existence, and that’s beneficial. More fuzzily, giving puts meaning into your life. You have a sense of purpose because you matter to someone else.” Virtually all the happiness exercises being tested by positive psychologists, he says, make people feel more connected to others.

That seems to be the most fundamental finding from the science of happiness. Almost every person feels happier when they are with other people,” observes Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. It’s paradoxical because many of us think we can hardly wait to get home and be alone with nothing to do, but that’s a worst-case scenario. If you are alone with nothing to do, the quality of your experience really plummets. But can a loner really become more gregarious through acts-of-kindness exercises?

Can a dyed-in-the-wool pessimist learn to see the glass as half full? Can gratitude journals work their magic over the long haul? And how many of us could keep filling them with fresh thankful thoughts year after year? Sonja Lyubomirsky believes it’s all possible: I’ll quote Oprah here, which I don’t normally do.

She was asked how she runs five miles a day, and she said, ‘I recommit to it every day of my life.’ I think happiness is like that. Every day you must renew your commitment. Hopefully, some of the strategies will become habitual over time and not a huge effort.” But other psychologists are more skeptical. Some simply doubt that personality is that flexible or that individuals can or should change their habitual coping styles.

If you are a pessimist who really thinks through in detail what might go wrong, that’s a strategy that’s likely to work very well for you,” says Julie Norem, a psychology professor at Wellesley College and the author of The Positive Power of Negative Thinking. “In fact, you may be messed up if you try to substitute a positive attitude.”

She is worried that the messages of positive psychology reinforce “a lot of American biases” about how individual initiative and a positive attitude can solve complex problems. Who’s right? This is an experiment we can all do for ourselves. There’s little risk in trying some extra gratitude and kindness, and the results should they materialize are their own reward.

 Read More – What is Happiness in Life / Source: CP

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Wednesday 21 August 2019

Eight Steps Toward a More Satisfying Life?

Want to lift your level of happiness? Here are some practical suggestions from University of California psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky, based on research findings by her and others. Satisfaction guaranteed at least a temporary boost. In this world, nothing is more precious than happiness.  

1. Count your blessings.
One way to do this is with a “gratitude journal” in which you write down three to five things for which you are currently thankful from the mundane (your peonies are in bloom) to the magnificent (a child’s first steps). Do this once a week, say, on Sunday night. Keep it fresh by varying your entries as much as possible. Count the blessing of health, job, children, food, God has given you.

2. Practice acts of kindness.

These should be both random (let that harried mom go ahead of you in the checkout line) and systematic (bring Sunday supper to an elderly neighbor). Being kind to others, whether friends or strangers, triggers a cascade of positive effects—it makes you feel generous and capable, gives you a greater sense of connection with others and wins you smiles, approval and reciprocated kindness all happiness boosters.

3. Savor life’s joys.
Pay close attention to momentary pleasures and wonders. Focus on the sweetness of a ripe strawberry or the warmth of the sun when you step out from the shade. Some psychologists suggest taking “mental photographs” of pleasurable moments to review in less happy times.

4. Thank a mentor.
If there’s someone whom you owe a debt of gratitude for guiding you at one of life’s crossroads, don’t wait to express your appreciation in detail and, if possible, in person. Say him, a big thank you to acknowledge his help or support in your difficult time. Because, very few peoples come ahead to help you. Talk with him and share your life experiences.

5. Learn to forgive.
Let go of anger and resentment by writing an email or letter of forgiveness to a person who has hurt or wronged you. Inability to forgive is associated with persistent rumination or dwelling on revenge, while forgiving allows you to move on. Anger disturbed your mental peace and let your mind to free from that. It is a great act only brave people can do that. So, learn to forgive.

6. Invest time and energy in friends and family.

Where you live, how much money you make, your job title and even your health have surprisingly small effects on your satisfaction with life. The biggest factor appears to be strong personal relationships. Family should be your most important thing in the world. Spend time with your children, wife, mother and father. They are closest persons living around you. Spending time with them will also relax you and enhance your mood.

7. Take care of your body.
Getting plenty of sleep, exercising, stretching, smiling and laughing can all enhance your mood in the short term. Practiced regularly, they can help make your daily life more satisfying. Your body will move easily in any situation, where most of fat people don’t do that. So, brisk walk is another option to relax your mind and body.

8. Develop strategies for coping with stress and hardships.

There is no avoiding hard times. Religious faith has been shown to help people cope, but so do the secular beliefs enshrined in axioms like “This too shall pass” and “That which doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.” The trick is that you must believe them.

Read More - What is Happiness in Life

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  5. Read More – What is Happiness in Life / Source: CP

Monday 19 August 2019

What is Happiness in Life?

In the late spring and early summer see the start of more quests for happiness than do any other seasons It is currently of year that thousands of young men and young women leave universities and schools setting out to chart their course and sail theirs hips through life.

Many are the routes open to them the professions, commerce, manufacturing finance, farming, and a host of other ways of making a living. Their problem is to choose the one route a long which their happiness may be found. Opinions differ from age to age as to what happiness is. Popular" how to" books of the 18th century was chiefly concerned with the subject of how to die a good death; those of the 19th century moved on to the subject of how to make a good living; and those of the 20th and 21st century is devoted to telling us how to live happily.

Many people perhaps most people would say that the greatest happiness they could achieve would be freedom and ability to do what they want to do. That is not a very good description of happiness because it is difficult to be sure just what one wants today, let alone next year and twenty years from now. Human beings are changeable. What may seem the supreme material good today may be completely out of date within a few months.

What is Happiness in Life?

Happiness arises largely from the mental qualities of contentment, confidence, serenity and active good will. It includes the pain of losing as well as the pleasure of finding. It thrives best in a crowded life. The men and women who are recorded in history and biography as most happy were people with always somewhat more to do than they could possibly do.

Every waking hour of their lives was occupied with ambitious projects literature love, politics, science, friendship, IT, Doctors, commerce professions trade, their religious faith, and a thousand other matters. The secret of happiness may be found by making each of these interest count to its utmost as part of the fabric of life.

We need to avoid the extremes of sluggish placidity and feverish activity. The youths of today are not going to be satisfied with felicity which resembles that of a stone, unfeeling and unmoving, but these youths will look back from future years with sorrow and regret if they run to and fro, giving in to what Socrates called" the itch."

Happiness lies in the active exercise of a man vital powers along the lines of excellence in a life affording full scope of for their development. Happiness obviously includes two sorts of behaviors active and passive. We may say that the active part consists in searching and sharing, while the passive part is made up of security and possessions. Neither part is complete of itself and neither yields full satisfaction it is over-emphasized philosophers from the ancient have been extolling a balanced life as the happiest life, and many unhappy people can when they face the issue, trace their discontent imbalance.

The recipe for happiness cannot be given in any single word, because its many virtues must be combined in their proper quantities at the proper times, for proper purposes. Happiness, prevent physical suffering, prevent guilt, do not accept illusions, keep learning, accept your limitations, be willing to pray, and pay for everything you get, be willing and able to love, avoid secrets.

About Seeking Happiness

It is legitimate to seek happiness We cannot help observing that while followers of some schools of thought are telling us to avoid seeking happiness they intimate that if we do so we shall be happy. The searcher enquirers a plan. We need to know what sort of happiness we seek, what the ingredients are, what are our strongest wants, and what we must start with.

We should train ourselves to keep the programmed simple and free from complications and side. Most of us do not really have to seek far and wide. Happiness grows at our own fireside if we cultivate it. The romantic minds of young people are likely to imagine that happy events and happiness-bringing people will make them to entrance to the sound of drums and trumpets but when we look back from the vantage point of maturity we see that they came in quietly almost unnoticed. Human felicity is produced not so much by great pieces of good fortune that seldom happen as by little advantages that occur every day.  

Emphasis on the little things applies whatever profession or business a youth takes up. Look at the multitude of little things included management the application of science and technical skill to some material good or products. The systematic ordering of operation and the organization of teamwork and sustained cooperation.

Never are we alone with our lives. We are enmeshed in families in offices, in groups, and in obligations. We cannot be content with self-maintenance. A machine that does no more than keep itself going is of no value whatever. Contributing is essential to realization of happiness.

“The Power of Positive Thinking is the Way to Happiness”

Self-love the narcissitic stage of life is the most tragic of all fixations. It prevents our adapting ourselves to social relations. Our own conceit blinds us to the esteem and admiration we might enjoy from others. Those who are self so self centered remind us of Aesop’s fly, it sat upon the axle tree of a chariot wheel and said what a dust I raise. 

We cannot buy a ticket of happiness. It is a destination reached only as we search for a trail and follow it. Nothing good that includes happiness is ever reached without labor or won without toil. The condition of winning happiness in life, social business, profession – is the opposite of inertia and it includes little of accident. It demands directions and growth. The things which help to make up happiness, like health, wealth, honor, and successful business, entrepreneur are themselves neutral. They are good or bad according to the use made of them. If a man does not know how to use them, he is better off without them. If he fails to use them well, they wilt and die.

Keep in mind, there is no place in the world, where you can find happiness. Or search happiness for lotus-eaters, those people who cling to a static life. But it is a mistake to hurry unduly. We cannot leap to heights we were meant to climb. No artist can paint all creation on one canvas. He balances his effort in the confines of frame. The principle we live by, in business and in social life are the most part of happiness. You need to be very careful upon achieving happiness not to lose the virtues which have produced it.

The young person who is successful in his daily work should not forget prudence, moderation and kindness the qualities essential to his success. Life can be beautiful for its grace and goodness as well as for its strength and success. As for those who took their first steps out of university and school many years ago in the search of happiness. They should find comfort in the thought that happiness, though it may be menaced and buffeted by many forces is saved by hope. Everyone has or may attain the faculty of making use of what befalls. If he can say at the end of a day that it was not an empty not a lost day and that he is glad to be alive because tomorrow is coming is that perhaps happiness.
            
Happiness loves action, and the philosophers agree that happiness must include some form of worthy activity. Life demands work, but happiness requires, dreaming, planning, aspiring, doing and pressing on from one attainment to another still greater. The world is likely to believe in a man who believe in himself, providing shows that his self-reliance is grounded upon a true appraisal and is well managed.

No man can be great in business or a profession or an art who wants advice before he does anything important. Self-reliance is the end expression of many qualities emotional stability willingness to face facts and to bear responsibility, discipline, faith in one’s judgement and practice in making decisions and abiding by them.

We must admit that to decide or still more to revise one is the most responsible and most exacting part of the process of living. No blunder in war or politics. As life of Napoleon is so common as that which arises from missing the proper moment of exertion and his warning is quite applicable to business. The man who trains himself to make quick energetic decisions even about small matters such as writing a letter or email for keeping an engagement is contributing to his happiness by realizing his capacity as a vigorous accomplishing character.

Choose Wisely What is Happiness in Life?

Such a person, having set one idea upon its feet, spring another. He knows that for him, happiness does not abide in imitation or conformity, but arises from his ability to think and do the new things. Those succeed best in their search for happiness who form definite ideas of what they are going to do before they start to do it. Aim is necessary, and it must be specific and within the bounds of reality. Lots of people get nowhere simply because they do not know where they want to go.

What do we seek to be happy? Our decision need not be one of self enclosed finalizes, but we should plan for definite goals, each of which will be the starring place for a new effort.  Our first plan is merely the sketch of a picture still to be painted. To choose our course means more than wishing we were at its end. We must run the course. That means leaving something behind and passing scenes which invite us to linger for their enjoyment.

There is a loss and a gain in every step forward, and acceptance of this unalterable fact is involved in making our choice. But the happiness of the man who sets up a good and worthy goal and goes all our toward it is far more sublime than that of one who achieves pleasure without sacrifice. To choose the goal requires wisdom, the highest types of thinking. It silences useless discussion of insignificant things and concentrates on reaching judgement about important affairs.

Aids to Happiness

There are some things which will make our search for happiness easier. Though, it never easy and good habits, will accustom us to free our minds and hands of petty chores so that we may devote our strength of mind and body to our life job. Civilization advances by extending the number of important operations we can perform without thinking of them. The skills which we develop into habits save time and energy accustoms us to disposing of unpleasant tasks, make us exercise the virtues of punctuality and shun the vices of procrastination and generally free us to pay and un-distracted attention to matters that are very significant.

If pattern living takes over the routine tasks, freeing us from the necessity of deciding less important things afresh every day, that is a good thing, but we must not carry habit to the point where it becomes our master. The year in which a man’s habit becomes sacred and untouchable marks the beginning of his old age.

Moreover, good health is also an integral part of happiness. When your nervous system has a surplus of energy at its disposal we take pleasure in working it off and in recuperating. Absence of health, or indulgence in pleasure beyond the limit of our stored force, causes happiness. In keeping the balance so often referred to between income and outgo of energy, emotion, social feeling, and the other forces which influences our happiness we discover the virtue that resides in self-control.

Self-Control does not mean merely surface composure. Down among our nerve cells and fibers the molecules are counting every discomposure and every mental disturbance. Nothing we ever do in strict scientific literalness, wiped out. The emotions we allow to seethe under a tranquil exterior appearance leave their mark upon the record and we must make an accounting debit or credit.
To sit quietly in a room with nothing but one’s thoughts or with the companionship of someone’s with whom we are in intellectual communion, in an atmosphere or tranquility and the appreciation of vital matters. That can be happiness and the parent of more happiness. 

 

Sunday 11 August 2019

The Emotions and Happiness


HAPPINESS has been defined by an authority as the enjoyable emotion arising from the gratification of all desires. The enjoyment of pleasure without pain. Another has said that happiness is the state in which all desires are satisfied. But these definitions have been attacked. It is held by many that a state of the absolute satisfaction of desire would not be happiness, for happiness consists largely in pleasurable anticipation and imaginings which disappear upon the realization of the desire.

It is held that complete satisfaction would be a negative state. Paley expressed a better idea when he said that any condition may be denominated 'happy' in which the amount or collective of pleasure exceeds that of pain, and the degree of happiness depends upon the quantity of this excess.

Some have held that an existing contrast between pain and pleasure (the balance being in favor of the latter) is necessary to establish happiness. Be this as it may, it is admitted by that entire one's happiness or unhappiness depends entirely upon one's emotional nature and the degree of the satisfaction thereof.

And it is generally admitted that to be happy is the great aim and object of the life of the majority of persons, if, indeed, not of every person, the happiness, of course, depending upon the quality and degree of the emotions forming the person's emotional nature. Thus it is seen that we are dependent upon the emotional side of our mental life in this as in nearly everything else making life worthwhile.

Theologians have often sought to point out that happiness is not the goal of life and living, but human nature has always insisted that happiness is the greatest end, and philosophy has generally supported it. But wisdom shows that happiness is not always dependent upon the pleasure of the moment, for the sacrifice of immediate pleasure frequently results in a much greater happiness in the future. In the same way an immediate disagreeable task often gains for us a greater satisfaction in the future.

Likewise, it is normally greater happiness to give up a personal pleasure for the happiness of others. Then it would be to enjoy the pleasure of the moment at the expense of the pain of the other. There is often a far greater pleasure resulting from an altruistic action of self-sacrifice than in the performance of the selfish, egoistic act.

But, as the subtle reasoned may insist, the result is the same the ultimate happiness and satisfaction of the self. This conclusion does not rob the altruistic act of its virtue, however, for the person who finds his greatest pleasure in giving pleasure to others is to be congratulated as is the community which shelters him.

There is no virtue in pain, suffering, sacrifice, or unhappiness for its own sake. This illusion of asceticism is vanishing from the human mind. Sacrifice on the part of the individual is valuable and valid only when it results in higher present or future happiness for the individual or someone else. There is no virtue in pain, physical or mental, except as a step to a greater good for us or others. Pain at the best is merely nature's alarm and warning of "not this way." It is also held that pain serves to bring out pleasure by contrast, and is therefore valuable in this way.

Be this as it may, no normal individual deliberately seeks ultimate pain in preference to ultimate happiness; the greatest ultimate happiness to one's self and to those he loves is the normal and natural goal of the normal person. But the concept of "those he loves," in many cases, includes the race as well as the immediate family.

Wisdom shows the individual that the greatest happiness comes to him who controls and restrains many of his feelings. Dissipation results in pain and unhappiness ultimately. The doctrine of thoughtless indulgence is un-philosophical and is contradicted by the experience of the race. Moreover, insight shows that the highest happiness comes not from the extravagance of the physical feelings alone, or to excess, but rather from the cultivation, development, and manifestation of the higher feelings the social, esthetics, and intellectual emotions.

The higher pleasures of life, literature, art, music, science, invention, constructive imagination, etc., yield a satisfaction and happiness keener and more enduring than can possibly the lower forms of feeling. But the human being must not despise any part of his emotional being. Everything has its uses, which are good; and its abuses, which are bad. Every part of one's being, mental and physical, is well to use; but no part is well used if it uses the individual instead of being itself used.

A writer has held that the end and aim of life should not be the pursuit of happiness, but rather the building of character. The clear answer is that the two are identical in spirit, for to the man who appreciates the value of character, its attainment is the greatest happiness; the wise teach that the greatest happiness comes to him who is possessed of a well-rounded, developed character. Another writer has said that "the aim of life should be self-improvement, with a due regard to the interest of others."

This is but saying that the greatest happiness to the wise man lies in this course. Anyone who is wise enough or great enough, to make these ends the aim and goal of life will find the greatest happiness there from. Arnold Bennett advances as a good working philosophy of life: Cheerfulness, kindliness, and rectitude. Can anyone doubt that this course would bring great ultimate happiness?

Happiness consists in that which contents the spirit, and the latter depends completely upon the character of the feelings and emotions entertained by one, as weighed in the balance of reason, and as passed upon by judgment and the sense of right action. The greatest degree of happiness, or at least the greatest ratio of pleasure over pain, is obtained by a careful and intelligent cultivation of the feeling side of one's being in connection with the cultivation of the intellect and the mastery of the will.

To be able to bring the capacity for enjoyment to its highest; to be able to intelligently choose that which will bring the greatest ultimate happiness in accordance with right action; and, finally, to be able to use the will in the direction of holding fast to that which is good and rejecting that which is bad this is the power of creating happiness. The feelings, the intellect, and the will here, as ever combine to manifest the result.

Finally, it must be remembered that all human happiness consists in part of the ability to bear pain to suffer. There must be the dash of Stoicism in the wise Epicurean. One must learn to pluck from pain, suffering, and unhappiness the secret drop of honey which lies at its heart, and which consists in the knowledge of the meaning and use of pain and the means whereby it may be transmuted into knowledge and experience, from which later happiness may be distilled. To profit by pain, to transmute suffering into joy, to transform present unhappiness into a future greater happiness this is the privilege of the philosopher.

The mental states and activities known as "desire" are a direct development of the feeling and emotional phase of the mind and form the motive power of the will. Desire, in fact, may be said to be composed of feeling on one side and will on the other. But the influence of the intellect or reasoning faculties has a most important part to play in the evolution of feeling into desire, and in the consequent action of the will by the presentation and weighing of conflicting desires.

Therefore, the logical place for the consideration of the activities of the intellect is at this point between emotion and will. Accordingly, we shall leave the subject of feeling and emotion for the present, to be taken up again in connection with the subject of desire, after we have considered the intellectual processes of the mind. But, as has been indicated, we shall see the presence and influence of the feelings and emotions even in the activities of the intellect. 

Boost Your Energy, Immune System, Sexual Function, Strength & Athletic Performance

Source - CP

Sunday 5 May 2019

The Inspiring Life after Death Quotes

Life is a precious Gift of God. Those who live it wisely get not afraid of Death. But the most important thing is to know the right path in life. Many people spend their life without knowing the purpose of life. Does everyone need to know what is real life? Life isn’t about running after luxury things. It has something different objects. Our life cycle revolves around the good job, luxury cars, lavish home, obedient kids, health, traveling, etc.
Sometimes life gives us some pain to kick in our mind to know me. What are you're life purpose? Life tells us on many occasions to know me before you end. No one came ever back after there death. Coward dies many times before their death. But Valiant don’t afraid of death and embrace it bravely.
But the real thing is to know what to come after death? Is it a permanent end or you will be a move to another world? Whether your body will expire after a few days of death? There are endless questions come into you're mind, but no one has a true answer. Think for a moment, how many people had come in this fake world and went down after a specific life span. There is myriads life after death quotes available on the internet world. But here I’ve collected some of best life after Death Quotes.





















Friday 26 April 2019

4 Things That Sabotage Your Motivation


Motivation is a vital part of productivity. When you are motivated, you work faster, work better, and stay happier for longer. Your own habits can affect how much motivation you have. Here are four common things that can rapidly ruin your motivation.

Lack of Confidence
One of the most common ways you can damage your motivation is by not believing that you can do it. Having a negative mindset can be destructive to your motivation and your work. If you are given a task at work and automatically assume that you are going to fail, you will end up avoiding starting the job for as long as possible. If you want to maintain your motivation, you need to be able to believe in yourself.

Impatient
In this world of instant gratification, one of the main reasons people give up on things is because they don’t see the results fast enough. It is hard to keep putting the same amount of effort into something when the results are immediately evident. Motivation often falls to the wayside if the results of our efforts aren’t seen in a few weeks. To keep your motivation, you have to remember to be patient.

Learn the Meaning of No
When your to-do list is a mile long, it can be easy to feel unmotivated. You need to learn how to say no to things when you don't have the time or if you don't feel comfortable doing it. Being able to say no will allow you more time to focus on those projects that you feel confident about and able to complete. To maintain a sense of control over your life, it's okay to say no to things. Feeling in control will help you feel more motivated and confident in accomplishing your goals.

Easily Distracted
Someone emails you a link to a funny cat video and the next thing you know you've spent the last several hours surfing the web and looking for random cat photos. Distractions come in many forms, but most types are harmful to your motivation. Distractions more often than not happen when you're overwhelmed, bored, or disinterested in accomplishing your tasks. To avoid sabotaging your motivation, disconnect from the Internet, avoid answering emails and phone calls for a period. This should allow you the time to complete your tasks without disrupting your motivation. The power to stay motivated remains with you. By avoiding these frequent pitfalls, you can maintain your motivation and accomplish what you set out to do.

Public Speaking Tips

We all find or can find ourselves sometimes in a position of talking to a group of people. This talk may be short or long; it may be a five-minute talk to introduce a speaker to the audience, or a thirty-minute speech on an important business matter. Whatever the length of time spent on the speech, if you are asked to give a talk you must take it as a compliment.
If you have been requested to make a speech, it means that the man making the request and many others with him believe that you are a man of ideas and experience which will be of value to the listeners. But it may be that you do not feel confident to talk to the group as effectively as you would like to. The reason, as you know, is that a good speaker always prepares his speech before he comes to the rostrum. He also knows the method and technique of giving a talk well. Here are some of Public Speaking Tips.

Preparing you’re talk

There are people who can speak effectively before a group with not any initial preparation, but this can be true of only a few lucky ones and that too on occasions when they are speaking on topics of general interest only. Speaking before a group of knowledgeable businessmen requires methodical preparation of you’re speaking. It is a folly to go unprepared before a group of such people. It is, therefore, necessary first to;

Collect and organize Material

This is the most important step towards the preparation of a good effective speech. Books from a library can be of immense help. Magazines, Newspaper, internet; and journals will add to your information. An interview with a specialist can also give you facts you want to include in you're talking, but it will a good precaution not to include any information which is not authentic and not supported by an authoritative source.
Take some notes as well; jot them down on a note paper. You can begin preparing you're talking with the facts you already know. Later you can add personal observations or experience to explain and illustrate important points and facts

Make Outlines

You must rewrite your speech in outlines. It is very useful to work. You note, arranged according to main ideas and in order of, they’re relative importance are the material for preparing your outline. Make Outlines are such important thing before public speaking. 

Hold Interest

The success of you're talking will depend largely on how much you are able to hold the interest of the audience. You must have variety in you're talking. Anecdotes, personal experiences and relevant examples add greatly to the value of a speech.
If possible you talk should also have some kind of suspense. Difficult ideas should illustrate with the help of charts and graphs. When you prepare you're talking, consider how best you may hold an interest in the audience.

Do not Read, Converse with you’re Audience

We have all listened, at one time or other, to speakers who stand before they’re audience ignoring their hearer, not even looking at them but they’re eyes glued only to they’re notes. This cannot be called a talk. It does not communicate. Such a speech may well be delivered in an empty hall. A written talk is of value when you practice your presentation.
It will enable you to fix all important points in memory. Having memorized each idea, you can use only brief notes. Many good speakers use this method. They prefer speaking from brief notes or points, not from a fully written speech. They believe that their speech will not sound well if read from a written manuscript.

Practice Hard Before Public Speaking

The only way of acquiring the skill for delivering a natural speech is by practice. As you practice, if you find yourself speaking in an affected or unnatural manner, immediately check yourself. Imagine yourself standing before your audience. Talk loudly enough for all to hear you clearly. Make slow movements, and do not use hand gestures too many times. Practice talking in front of a large mirror.
Practice hard and continue until your words flow from you naturally from idea to idea, even without the aid of your brief notes. You have prepared you're talking and it is now time to deliver it. If you keep before you the following tips, they will help you make you talk sound natural, effective, and eloquent.

Control you’re voice volume

We all know how dissatisfied the audience feels when they cannot hear what the speaker says. You should never allow this to happen to you. The easiest way of avoiding it is to ask you’re hearers at the start of you’re talk if they can hear you clearly.

Look at your Listeners

The best way of making you’re listeners feel that you are not delivering a speech but actually talking and conversing with them is to look directly at them. Never make the mistake of gluing your eyes to you’re written manuscript. Look at the middle section of the audience, then at those to the right and the left. As you continue in this way, the listeners are sure to feel that you are talking to each of them.

Objectionable Mannerisms

You may not even know if you have any objectionable mannerisms. Seek the help of you’re friends. Ask them to watch you speaking and then report. If you clear you’re throat or wet your lips frequently during you’re speech. A speaker who has even one such annoying mannerism cannot talk effectively to his listeners.
This is especially true of beginners who toy with keys, pens, pencils or they’re notes because they are nervous. By doing so, they distract the attention of they’re listeners. Don’t carry small objects with you to the rostrum. Just concentrate on you’re message; you will do well if you have made good initial preparation. 

Observe you’re Audience

Observe the look of you’re listeners while public speaking. If you see, as you are delivering you're talking, that there faces have started becoming blank. this is the signal that they are being bored by you’re speaking and that you should try to boost there interest. You may tell them, at the right moment, an interesting anecdote or a short story which may also illustrate you’re the point.

The End

At the end of Public Speaking, you need to watch your last words. It is a sign of inexperience to hurry through the last words of you’re talking as if to get rid of them. Your speech must seem well founded at the end. It is a pity, indeed, to spoil a good, well-prepared talk by a careless finish. You must not rush through your final lines. Keep up the volume of your voice and good timing till the end.

Saturday 30 March 2019

5 Tips to Boost Your Confidence

Having self-confidence will give you not only success in your endeavors but also respect from your peers, counterparts, subordinates, and superiors. When you have a lot of self-belief, you will enjoy lots of success in your personal and professional lives. When you fail in the target that you have set for yourself, it impacts your confidence to a great extent. It does take a lot of time to start getting a person in believing in him again after he has had a bad experience. Here are 5 simple but effective hacks that you can try to improve your self-confidence and self-belief.

1.       Personal grooming
One of the most simple but powerful tips to boost your confidence is to dress up well and be well-groomed, wherever you go. Wear smart formals to the office and ensures that your clothes are well-matched without a wrinkle on them. When you dress smartly, you automatically start to feel confident about yourself.

2.       Perfect your breathing
Life will give many opportunities to feel stressed, nervous and anxious. You should be careful that you never succumb to these pressures.  If you believe in your abilities, you won’t bow down to these nervous situations. All you need to do at this stage is to practice simple breathing exercises. When you feel bogged down, upset or nervous, take a break from your work and relax well through breathing in and your heart.

Calm down the palpitations that race from your heart and knock your eardrums down. Once you have calmed down, think about the situation and take appropriate decisions. When you are calm, you are more likely than before to take the right decisions. With more right decisions come more success, thereby improving your self-confidence to a large extent.

3.       Motivational pep-talks
When you feel a low phase, look into the mirror and give yourself a pep-talk. Remind yourself of your potential and few incidents from the past where you did a commendable job. Appreciate yourself for achieving your goals within the allocated timeline. List your strengths and tell yourself why you are the best man to do the job. These small, pep –talks go a long way in increasing your self-belief.

4.       Improve your body language
Start walking upright and always look into the eyes of the person/people you are speaking to. When you are addressing a gathering, spread your arms wide while speaking, as this will make you look confident and approachable at the same time. Work on your stage presence and have eye contact with all the people in the gathering, when you speak. You also need to sound bold and clear if you want to be audible to everyone hearing you.

5.       Move away from negativity
A very important tip to remain self-confident is to stay away from negativity. If your friends or colleagues keep doubting your beliefs and tell you not to push yourself too hard to achieve your objectives. Then you need to stay away from them. Like positivity, negativity to is contagious. Their negative vibes might dampen the energizing thoughts in your mind. Try to stay with those people who are creative, confident about their actions and always learning something new in their lives to become better people. 
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